Moving Forward… Positivity Returning Soon!



I didn’t forget about you. I still love you, I promise.

I’m just sitting over here on the struggle bus.

My last post was pretty confessional, and I have to say, I’m still struggling with the same stuff. Without a contest date in my focus I’m really finding it harder and harder to stick to my macros, to be motivated in the gym, or really give a single damn. And that’s sucky to say, because my body is pretty much my everything. You can see how that would be disconcerting to watch your top priority suddenly become… pointless? On top of it all, I’m doing the whole idiot song and dance about contracts and such that comes with being a teacher… seriously someone just let me teach and let’s stop with all this political nonsense, yeah?

Also I was dog sitting with no wifi this weekend, and weekends are when I do my best blog writing. NO WIFI. Who does that? I had freaking wifi in the cloud forest of Costa Rica, I had wifi when my college apartment in Wisconsin didn’t have heat (no lie two pair of pants, four shirts, a hat, a scarf, mittens, three blankets and an overweight cat snuggled by my belly every night to keep warm as it plummeted below zero… in retrospect I probably should have sued the ass off my landlord), I had wifi when .I was flying across the freaking Atlantic- now THAT is impressive to think about! To say the least, I was unimpressed with the lack of wifi I had this weekend.


But while I was sort-of-unplugged (read: using up every last bit of my cell data to stare at Instagram for hours on end…embarrassed), I did do some thinking. And eating. OMG so much eating. Fun facts I learned this weekend:

  • Purple carrots have YELLOW insides, and they are beautiful! But the plain old orange organic carrots I normally buy taste better.
  • Clearance Easter candy has the same macros as regular candy, only way cheaper. (A big bag of teeny tiny Milky Ways for $1.74?! Target, you da best!)
  • I have a strong dislike for Guy Fieri (NOT his given name!) but when given a TV with more than 8 channels I will not change it from the Food channel if he is on, even if it’s an idiot marathon of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, because I love the food channel so much and maybe it’s not that bad, right?
  • Planning for students to turn in ALL WORK via Google docs, and therefore expecting all grading to be done via the same, does not work if you do not have access to the internet; and that’s how I’m over a week behind in grading for my seniors now.
  • Cilantro will take over your whole garden if you don’t tell it who’s boss pretty quickly. I have no green thumb, can’t grow a thing, but even I can’t kill this pest. And I’ve made every cilantro-based sauce and salsa I can think of. I’ve given it away to the neighbors. There’s so much cilantro, and it’s, like, the dankest cilantro that ever grew, too.


So here’s the part you probably came for.

I’m switching up my lifting plan, at the suggestion/request of my doctor, as it seems that, according to some indicators in my blood work, I’ve actually begun to hit the point where I am overtraining. This week, I’ll be planning out a 4 days a week lifting plan, as opposed to my contest prep 5 days. Because I have so loved PHAT, I want to stick with a hybrid power and hypertrophy program, so I’ll be basing my programming off of a pretty popular plan right now called PHUL. I am still not particularly comfortable benching, and my back and shoulders need to do some growing (the never-ending quests of a figure girl- more lats! more delts!), so I will be switching out some chest exercises with back and overhead pressing lifts. Currently, I plan to utilize my carb cycling on the KISS method, which I have addressed previously after overcomplicating things- just two days- high fat/low carb. and high carb/low fat, as I have been. Rest days- now three each week- will see me eating lots of avocados, while lifting days will find me hitting the rice and occasional Oreo or two.


The birthday cake ones are still rocking my world, but I can’t wait to try out the lemon ones they have out for spring! (Ew, did you see there’s cotton candy ones now? What kind of person even imagined that, much less how many countless people let this abomination come to fruition?!)

Abhorrent. Anyone who purchases these and sends the message that this is OK is automatically sub-human in my book. You disgust me.


I’m going to try and do some growing in the coming weeks, specifically in the glutes, lats, and delts, and, unless I find a sponsor to cover my fees for nationals, I’m going to start thinking of EDC (yes, Electric Daisy Carnival, the music festival) as my next “show date.” I mean, I already have tickets, and I definitely want to look hella sexy for it, so, why not? I’m hoping this gives my brain enough of a goal to fixate on to help right itself in the next few days, as not having a specific goal I’m working towards seems to be my biggest problem right now.


I realized this weekend that my prep notebook was a very important piece of me during my prep, and held me very accountable- more so than my calorie tracking app, or the scale, or anything else, it turns out, so I will begin dragging my little steno pad around once again, logging my macro adherence, lifts, and feels, with the culmination being a weekend of intense dancing in badass costumes, rather than mandatory poses in a $350 bedazzled bikini. I’m pretty jazzed- music festivals are in my top 4 favorite things that I love, along with fitness, cooking, and teaching. This will be my first EDC, which is pretty silly when you consider all the other places I’ve traveled to go to festivals… Palm Springs, not crazy… Atlanta, not so crazy… Split, Croatia…maybe a little crazy. One would think a quick five hour drive over to Vegas would have come before a trans-Atlantic, but, this is my life, and I do what I want.


Oh! One other thing I did this weekend!



Um, I attempted to bench.

It was so sad. My pecs are still so sore from the sad, sad exertion.


I’ve been doing some light incline dumbbell bench and push-ups for a couple of weeks now to get my pecs back in the game, now that I’m cleared to start using them again, and I thought I was ready. So I grabbed some 30 pound dumbbells and asked my husband to work in on his bench. I’m so embarrassed at how hard it was to hit even four reps. My boobs felt all weird, like the first time I tried to do pull-ups after surgery. Not painful, no no, a feeling that’s impossible to explain unless you’ve felt it. But it’s not nice. Anyhow that’s going to take more working back into than I thought. I’m not sure why I had it in my head I could just load up 115 again and go to town after 6 months off and, you know, 350cc’s of silicone being forced under each pec. Should’ve seen that struggle coming.

Next post: I stop being so damn whiny. I swear. Back to our regularly scheduled, informative, upbeat excitement!

Pinky promise on the positivity. I feel it coming.

3 thoughts on “Moving Forward… Positivity Returning Soon!

  1. PHUL is a lot of fun, can’t wait to see how it does for you. And I’m so glad you’re getting your head straight again, nothing can keep you down!


    1. It’s been a rough few weeks, for sure, but I’m starting to feel it lift. PHUL is quite similar to PHAT, only PHAT is 5 days, but I anticipate it going well. I had my first upper body power day today and it felt phenomenal- perhaps because I brought my notebook to the gym. I may or may not have a very personal relationship with that steno pad full of lifting and diet notes…


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